Cultivating Gratitude in the Chaos: Simple Practices for Sensitive Souls
The Challenge of Gratitude in Overwhelm
Trust me, I know how difficult it can be to stop and practice gratitude when life is chaotic. Especially for hypersensitives or anyone who is overstimulated and emotionally drained (where are my mamas with littles at??). I don’t love admitting it but the funk I’ve been in lately has made it incredibly challenging to find gratitude within my days. But a couple of weeks ago, I was home with my girls and the weather outside was absolutely beautiful so we all went outside for some sunshine and fresh air. The girls wanted to kick the soccer ball around and asked me to play with them. Usually I find myself needing to do a chore or not having the energy but this day I chose to join in. Soccer used to be my sport when I was younger and I forget how much I enjoy it. Even my youngest said, “This is so fun playing with you mama.” *cue tears*
Talk about a glimmer that melted my heart. I felt joy in that moment that I hadn’t felt in a long time and for a few moments, everything felt a little bit lighter. I also realized in that moment that I wish I felt more of that and my playing with them shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to my girls. Finding gratitude doesn’t have to be some big grand gesture and I think that gets lost in the chaos most days, at least for me I know it does. And as cliché as it sounds, sometimes it really is about finding the small joys and moments of peace in our busy day-to-day lives.
The Science of Gratitude: Why Does It Matter for Sensitive Moms?
Gratitude; one simple word yet it can hold so much nuance. Most of us tend to overcomplicate it when it really can be relatively simple. There are so many positive benefits related to the impact of gratitude such as stress reduction, increasing resilience, and improving mental health. But I promise that is just the tip of the iceberg. When you practice gratitude and incorporate it into your daily life consistently it helps to shift your focus to aspects of your life that are more positive. This also can lead to a more optimistic mindset, helping to lower your cortisol levels, and hopefully making it easier to feel calm and content in your day-to-day. Did you ever think of practicing gratitude as a coping mechanism? All of this has the potential to help work against negative thoughts and stress triggers by finding appreciation for what you have, how you feel, where you are in life, etc.
As an empath or hypersensitive, another reason that a gratitude practice can be particularly helpful is because it can help ground you in the present moment. When the life around you gets a little chaotic or too noisy, being able to ground yourself back into your body can help move through any challenging thoughts, feelings, and emotions. The ability to ground yourself in these moments can provide a sense of stability and help center yourself which allows for better management of overwhelming emotions and energy. As empaths, we tend to easily absorb the emotions and energy from those around us which can put our nervous system into overdrive. The practice of grounding through gratitude acts as a protective barrier or a great coping mechanism against emotional overload because it helps anchor us into the present moment and back into our bodies.
What does this look like? Keeping a gratitude journal, meditating on gratitude or appreciation, mindful nature walks, writing letters of thanks, or positive affirmations. (And so much more!). The beauty of this is that you can really cater to your preferences and what brings you back to your center. The key aspects of finding a gratitude practice that works (especially as an empath) will likely include a focus on the present moment, sensory details, consistency and simplicity, and the integration of self-care.
Simple Gratitude Practices
I’d love to share a few simple gratitude practices for my fellow sensitive souls and busy mamas. I know that when it comes to cultivating gratitude in the chaos, it can often feel impossible especially when you can barely catch your breath most days.
When you’re feeling especially overwhelmed or anxious (whether it’s the holiday season or not), I hope you’ll keep in mind these following tips and tricks to help you move through your feelings. In the moment, I know it can feel like your world is closing in on you. Once you get on the other side of it, I hope you can realize the power that you have to make it through.
Morning Gratitude Journaling:
→ In the morning, before you get out of bed, write down at least three things that you are grateful for. This can be as simple as your morning cup of hot tea or the sweet sound of your children’s laughter.
→ Another way to make this more fun would be to pick out a brand new journal or notebook, even something with a fun design, that will help you look forward to writing it daily. I mean, who doesn’t love a fresh notebook!
Gratitude Pause During Overwhelm:
→ (Easier said than done) but if you can have the awareness to pause when you’re overstimulated, try to name one thing that you can appreciate. Maybe it’s as small as the sun shining on your skin or taking a deep breath to calm down. In these moments it is incredibly important to ground yourself, connect with the earth, and bring yourself back into your body.
→ Lately, I’ve been finding myself incredibly overwhelmed and reactive. In those moments that I have the awareness of being way overstimulated, I’ve been forcing myself to stop and take a breath and name at least three things that I’m grateful for. Is the house a complete disaster? Yes, but I’m grateful for a roof over our heads and a home full of love. Am I feeling alone and unsupported? Possibly, but I’m grateful to have the wonderful opportunity to be home with my girls and I have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally who’s also carrying a lot. Are my kids driving me bonkers? Absolutely, but I’m grateful for my two beautiful and healthy girls who are my world and I am their safe place. I’m by no means saying that this is simple. It requires a lot of grace and patience with myself. I believe gratitude can coexist with these other feelings and emotions, even the more complicated ones.
Bedtime Reflection:
→ At the end of the day, once you’re settled down in bed for the night, reflect with your kids (or just yourself) on one thing that you’re grateful for. Add this to your gratitude journal from above or create a new nighttime connection practice with your kids during bedtime.
→ Creating this practice with your kids allows you the chance to (re)connect at the end of what may have been either a great or even a chaotic day. It gives you a chance really attune to each other and to be seen and heard by one another. It may not sound like much, but it truly has a big impact.
Gratitude Jar or Notes:
→ Create a family gratitude jar. Have fun choosing the container and decorating it however you like and in a way the feels fun for the family. Every week, each person writes something that they’re grateful for and then at the end of the month, you can read them together.
→ A simpler twist on this: when you all sit down at the dinner table, go around and everyone shares at least one thing that they’re grateful for that day.
Ok, But How Can You Stay Grateful When Things Go Wrong?
One thing that I think can often be misconstrued with gratitude is this idea that you must ALWAYS be grateful in order for it to make an impact. And in my opinion, this is just not the case. In fact, it’s pretty unrealistic. This idea can also be known as “toxic positivity;” where people often deflect or suppress negative emotions or experiences as a way to avoid processing something that might feel uncomfortable for a moment. You don’t have to be grateful or find gratitude in every moment; honestly that sounds a little exhausting. There’s a natural ebb and flow to our emotions (if we allow it) and like I shared previously, I believe so many complicated and uncomfortable feelings can still coexist with gratitude.
Developing a gratitude practice doesn’t mean that you then ignore your struggles and hardships or force yourself to feel positive. Perhaps there are moments where maybe you “fake it ’til you make it” in order to get through it or even when you’re feeling stuck. But, in most instances, I really think it’s about the lesson within it or even finding a silver lining. We are all going to have harder days and more challenging seasons of life, and that’s okay. We are only human and the peaks and valleys are normal so I think it’s incredibly important to remember to give yourself some grace and maybe try to find a perspective shift in these moments. What have you learned? How have you grown? Or what opportunities arose instead? When things go wrong or not as planned, I try to see it as a redirection. I believe everything happens for a reason, even if I don’t understand it at first. I can be upset or frustrated or disappointed that things didn’t go as I originally wanted. Those feelings are so valid. But, perhaps there’s something even better on the other side.
I believe we all can practice self-compassion alongside gratitude and hold both even when things don’t go our way. But even if you have a moment where you don’t or can’t feel gratitude, that’s okay too. Sit with that, let it move through you, and remember that you won’t always feel that way.
Gratitude & Holiday Chaos
Every year I get so overwhelmed during the holidays; and every time that the holiday season rolls around I vow to commit to less and to fill our calendar less. Yet I still tend to find myself overcommitted and feeling like a chicken running around with its head cut off. So I know how much more of a challenge it can be to feel grateful in the chaos of the holiday season. But, I don’t believe that means that it’s impossible. It just requires more intention. During the holidays, I think it’s important to try and focus on gratitude over perfection. Especially when it comes to planning, hosting, and participating in any and all holiday activities. Think about ways in which you can weave in glimmers of gratitude into your holiday gatherings. Such as initiating a gratitude circle at the dinner table, taking the time to write or speak a thoughtful thank you for any gifts, or focusing more on experiences and quality time instead of material gifting.
How can you reduce your stress as much as possible during this time? Simplify gift giving and ease some financial stress. Focus on what traditions light you up. Work on saying “no,” and don’t pack your calendar full. For so many years, we would cram in as much as humanly possible in order to spend time with everyone but, at the end of the day I would be so incredibly overstimulated that I didn’t even recognize myself and it took a long time to realize that I was trying to do so much to my own detriment. It’s okay to say no or turn down invitations. There is so much going on during these couple of months and you can’t do it all. I used to feel bad for not doing all the things with all the people but the time was so rushed or packed full, I started to question if I was really being present and truly enjoying my time. Now, I feel bad for being bat sh*t crazy around my girls and my husband because I’ve overcommitted and therefore spend majority of the month overwhelmed and overstimulated. But it’s because of that that I know I need to take a different approach moving forward.
There’s so much pressure for the holidays to look and feel like magic. While that’s wonderful and yes, it can be true… the magic doesn’t always have to be extravagant. There’s beauty in the simplicity. Or, if you’re just trying to get through the days then I see you and I’m always here to hold space for you no matter what season you’re in.
At the end of the day, it’s a practice and not a perfection. You can start small and you can be inconsistent at times; it’s all okay. Some days will be easier than others. Some days you will love it and some days you may hate it. As empaths and hypersensitives, I think it’s so important to recognize and honors those waves. Lean into your people as well for inspiration and connection and to share whatever is coming up for you along the way. Be the example for those around you because all it takes is one simple spark to ignite some inspiration within someone else’s world.
I am grateful for you
Thank so much you for being here, it truly means so much to me. I’m wishing you a season filled with the warmth and happiness of the holiday season and that you’re surrounded by people who make life worth celebrating. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I’d love to invite you to leave a comment or send me a message letting me know one thing that you’re grateful for this week. Or please share your own gratitude practices, I’d love to know! You can find me (and tag me!) on Instagram @Naturally.Brittney
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